Coin Operated Girl
"It was as if my father had given me, by way of temperament, an impossibly wild, dark, and unbroken horse. It was a horse without a name, and a horse with no experience of a bit between its teeth. My mother taught me to gentle it; gave me the discipline and love to break it; and- as Alexander had known so intuitively with Bucephalus- she understood, and taught me, that the beast was best handled by turning it toward the sun."I would’ve wanted to remember it, clearly.
The more you dwell upon discouragements, talking to others about your trials. And enlarging upon them, to enlist the sympathies which you crave, the more discouragements and trials you will have.
Eventually, as you grow older, you learn and you see things you didn’t see before. And once this happens, you slowly filter out those people you never realized were pulling you under. It’s a sad experience of liberation, you tend to think back on all the pleasant memories, and maybe it’s best to try and remember those. Instead of all the reasons why you’re not going back.
A night to be remembered..
Warning
It always starts out this way
Just remember how it ends
My List
1. Run and Shred
2. Eat healthy again!
3. Destroy what destroys me!
4. Go to thrift stores!
5. Get a car!
6. Smile more
7. Save more
8. Love more.
9. Read my Bible.
10. Pray
To remember for when I need this.
Things I’ll Miss #3
Crawling into bed with you. Those rare times when you shed your skin and let me look in. Down to the parts that hurt and love. When tears linger on your lashes because we realize we’ve gotten far from how we used to be. But for a moment we remember, lying there in each others arms, those two people, reconciled.
"Better by far that you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.."
Christina Rossetti
Silly Tricks.
I’ve forgotten your face
In the rains of November
I’ve forgotten your voice -
I don’t want to remember.
I cannot reign in my mind, no I cannot for it just wanders outside this room, without my grant of permission. It’s in a contemplative mood, willing me to remember such things I could not retrieve before tonight. I think it’s playing tricks on my heart, silly head. Trying to be clever, attempting to persuade. And my poor heart, it’s so dreadfully gullible. Innocent young organ. It thinks, would even be so bold to believe it loves you still. Come on head, you should know better then to play these demeaning games.
Forget.
I read this quote the other day, it said “It is better to smile and forget rather then to remember and regret….”
So I try, day after day I smile, I keep smiling.
But what happens when I forget who I was, forget that I gave you everything, forget my first, forget, forget, forget.. What if all I ever do is forget… Then someday when I need to remember I can’t find you anymore..
